Life is about choices, and if you choose to be a dumbass and get something tattooed on your face, don’t get mad at other people when they don’t want to hire you. Don’t get me wrong; I love tattoos. They can make you look like a huge badass. They’re also a fantastic way to express your individual style. Still, there’s a fine line between badass tattoos and dumbass tattoos.
If you’ve already done some of these stupid ass things I’m about to talk about, you’re not going to like my opinion. I’m also not talking to you. I’m talking to the guys who are thinking about getting inked. I know dumbass tattoos because I had two (bumblebee and moon). Today I will go over a few tattoo rules you should always follow.
Before you get inked, think about these things.
- Don’t get a tattoo before the age of 21. Don’t do it if you’re below age 21 because you will regret it. You’re impulsive at that age, and your testosterone levels are cranking. You’re going to think something is awesome and that you will love it for the rest of your life, but you won’t.
- Don’t do anything impulsive or spur of the moment. When a tattoo is done right, it’s thought out and planned. You have a good story behind something incredible. But if you go out and get one on a whim, that’s a recipe for disaster.
- Have a story and meaning. Don’t just pick a tattoo off a wall. If there’s something that you want, plan and work with the artist or tattoo designer. Think about it so that you have a story when somebody asks you what your tattoo represents. Tattoos are great conversation starters, but if your conversation starts and ends with ‘I don’t know,’ that doesn’t work.
- Never on your face, neck, or hands. If you have any tattoos in those places, you will look trashy, and people will not respect you the way you deserve to be respected. Life is not fair; it’s the reality. So if you’re choosing to put a stamp on your body that lets people know about a horrible decision, don’t be mad when they don’t want to hire you, date you, or be your friend.
- Tribal tattoos look like white trash. Think of tribal tattoos like the Ed Hardy Affliction version of tattoos. Also, stand-alone bands on your arms make you look white trashy.
- Cute tattoos are not cute. This goes for anything funny as well. If something is funny, getting it tattooed on your body is probably a horrible idea. Although it may be trendy right now, it won’t be later.
- No portrait tattoos. Having portraits of your family members, children, and dogs is another horrible idea, even though it has a good meaning.
- No people’s names. Never get a tattoo of somebody’s name on your body, whether it’s a crush, girlfriend, or wife. At some point, these people may not be in your life, and it will be very difficult to explain why you have her name on your body.
- No affiliations with sexual or social groups. Whether or not it’s a rainbow flag, a political party, or other symbols identifying as trans or whatever, if you’re putting these on your body to identify yourself with a specific group, understand that you’re going to alienate a lot of people that don’t align with your belief. Even if you don’t care, know that you’re going to limit and alienate people. Also, you’ll have to work extra hard to overcome people’s perceptions or ignorance. I’m not saying this to be a dick; I am just letting you know that if you choose to wear your stance, perspective, or belief on your sleeve, people will not always agree with you.
- Reconsider cover up tattoos. It’s not always a good idea to cover a tattoo with something bigger that you may not like later. People get bad tattoos and then think they’re going to cover it with something bigger when they could have gotten it removed. Tattoo removal is incredibly effective, and I had two removed because I was embarrassed. I felt like a huge douche with mine, and I didn’t love them. It cost me $800 to remove them through a series of treatments.