How to Be MORE Confident in Yourself {EVEN IF YOU’RE SHY}

October 12, 2022
To kick ass in life, you must have self-esteem and self-confidence. These are very closely linked but not the same. Self-esteem is appreciating your value and will change over your lifetime as you have different experiences. Self-confidence is your belief in your ability and will change depending on the situation.

Confidence is why I started making videos. I wanted to help guys develop their confidence and self-esteem, as growing up, I did not have either. I now want to share with you some of the steps I have taken to feel confident and build my self-esteem regardless of the situation.

Boost your confidence and self-esteem step-by-step

  1. Stop worrying so much about being cool. Focus on being a good, nice, and kind person. I used to worry about fitting in and being accepted & liked, so I would do or say things that were not consistent with how I wanted to be viewed or how I viewed myself.
  2. Stop trying to please other people. I am a people pleaser at my core, stemming from many issues from my past. Unfortunately, bad habits can be developed because of negative situations when we are younger.
  3. Learn to say no. ‘No’ isn’t being rude. It’s about taking care of yourself and realizing that people will take advantage of you if you let them. When you finally get the courage to say no, everything in your life will change. Your self-esteem and confidence will go through the roof.
  4. Stop being a victim. Our society is overwhelmed with people that think, ‘Oh, poor me.’ They get offended. The victim mentality has to stop. People need to take ownership of what they can change to move forward in life. If you can’t fix it, don’t worry about it. But if you need support, therapy is a valuable tool. Better Help is professional therapy done securely online. The sooner you take care of yourself, the sooner your confidence and self-esteem will skyrocket.  Click for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help. You deserve to be happy.
  5. Get rid of toxic people. These people may not be ‘bad,’ but they are bad for you. If somebody in your life makes you feel bad about yourself, is not uplifting or encouraging, is jealous or rude, or says things that a friend shouldn’t, this person is not your friend. You have to get them out of your life. As long as you allow them to be around you, you will never truly feel great about yourself because they suck the energy out of your life.
  6. Spend more time with people who love you and think you’re awesome. This will instantly improve your self-esteem and your confidence. You must be willing to be around people who will tell you the truth, even if it may sting a little bit. Too often, we surround ourselves with people who tell us what we want to hear. Hearing constructive feedback or criticism isn’t always easy or comfortable. However, we need to listen to this feedback to examine ourselves. If you’re doing something self-destructive, people in your corner want you to do better and will encourage you. Toxic people will encourage bad behavior because they want to bring you down and maintain control over you.
  7. Smell amazing! Spraying on your signature scent is a spritz of confidence that blasts your senses. Fragrance lets you smell incredible, which is positive nonverbal communication. You will be perceived as more attractive, but also it will psychologically get you amped to kick the day’s ass.
  8. Use encouraging self-talk. There’s nothing wrong with being your own cheerleader.
  9. Stop drinking and being an idiot. When I quit drinking, a few things happened that were amazing. I felt better physically, looked better, and was clearer mentally. I also felt good about myself because I wasn’t making bad decisions.

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Aaron Marino (alpha m.) is the number 1 men’s lifestyle influencer with over 8 million followers combined across multiple social media channels.

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