One of the big misconceptions regarding confidence is thinking it’s a destination — as if you’ll feel incredible and never feel insecure or inadequate again once you get there. But confidence is a very complex concept, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
Confidence is an evolution where you constantly grow and change based on your environment, what you learn, what you do, what you don’t do, and the people around you. Unfortunately, though, these mistakes can kill our confidence and self-esteem.
Identify and fix mistakes that crush your confidence.
- Being with the wrong people. Whether your partner or your spouse, if that somebody is not suitable for you, your self-esteem and confidence can be destroyed. Being honest with yourself may mean making some hard decisions and thinking about things. To be happy and confident, you need to be with somebody who uplifts and makes you feel good about yourself. Also, having friends who suck can crush your confidence. It’s not that your friends are ‘bad.’ Still, you can’t feel great about yourself if you surround yourself with people who aren’t uplifting you or doing self-destructive things that can drag you down. Shed this baggage and outgrow them. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel and how confident you’ll become.
- Doing self-destructive things. You know what things are not good for you. Whether it’s drinking, eating bad food, neglecting your body, or procrastinating doing something, your confidence can be beaten down by the internal battle. The longer you continue, the lower your confidence will go. You need to take care of yourself and stop doing destructive things.
- Living above your means. If you don’t have a plan or budget and spend money you don’t have, you can be affected negatively. Worrying and thinking about money can destroy your confidence and rob you of joy. Everybody should create a budget and cut spending. The two areas that can be cut the fastest and easiest are your car and where you live. Also, do not purchase things on credit. If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it.
- Not fixing insecurities. You can fix so many of the things that you worry about and are totally treatable, preventable, or fixable. You can go to the gym, eat better, have your teeth whitened, get veneers, use Tiege Hanley for your skin, pump up Big Al, and visit Bosley for hair loss. Don’t wait to take care of your hair until it’s too late. Do it now.
- Waiting for perfect timing. Many people fail to start because they continue to wait for the stars to align. Whether asking a girl out or starting a business, realize failure is part of the equation. You have to get out there and try.
- Worrying about what others think. Many people are so consumed with worrying about what others think. When the truth is, they’re not even thinking about you. The world does not revolve around you. Other people are too self-centered and worried about their lives to be concerned about yours. The sooner you understand and realize this, the faster you will be free.
- Not practicing forgiveness and gratitude. If you’re living in the past and carrying baggage, it’ll prevent you from truly feeling good about yourself. Set it down and let it go. Understand that we all do the best job possible and must learn from our mistakes to move forward. Don’t beat yourself up. You’ll never be truly confident until you set the sh!t down. And be grateful. Gratitude is an amazing thing that each and every one of us should practice daily. Too often, we compare ourselves to others, which is a confidence killer. We need to be grateful for where we are, what we’ve achieved, that we’re healthy and breathing, and that we’ve accomplished incredible things. Don’t worry about what you don’t have as opposed to what you do. When you practice gratitude, your creativity will be facilitated and fueled, and your confidence will also be elevated. You won’t have to put on an act for anybody because you know you’re enough and that you’re amazing. Be thankful for what you do, what you have, and who you are as a man.